Ashton

That feeling.

You know that feeling where your stomach is in knots and you feel like crying and smiling at the same time… hopeless and hopeful all at once… happy and sad at the same time…

It’s overwhelming. And it’s how I feel.

So, I went to a baseball game last night. The Rangers vs. The Astros in Houston. I went with the mindset that I would root for the Rangers, but support the Astros because they’re both Texas teams and my family has always liked the Astros. I left pretty much not liking the Astros. And it’s not because they won, because they DIDN’T win (at least, not last night). It’s because Astros fans, in general, are jerks. Mimi, if you read this, you know I love you so be sure to take no offense. :) Seriously, though, by the end of the night I was disgusted with how rude the people around me were acting.

“They’re just rooting for their team.” No. Rooting for your team is supposed to be unconditional love for your team, not unconditional hate for the other. Rooting for your team is clapping whether or not they get that run, not booing the other for getting a run. There’s a difference between supporting your team and just being hateful. It’s a game. Not only that, it’s the American past-time. I feel like it’s supposed to bring us all together. (Baseball has turned me into the biggest “I love Texas! I love America!” person ever; I never saw this coming.)

I guess the reason this got my goat (as they say) so much is that Rangers fans are really supportive of the Astros. The ones I know are, at least. I understand rivalry and all, but we’re not even in the same league! (yet) Why all the hate, Astros fans? Can’t we all just be fans of Texas and Texas sports together? I won’t say that I won’t support the Astros anymore… but I know I’m not an Astros fan now. I don’t want to be associated with a team whose fans are known for being rude.

I judge books by their covers. Really. When book shopping, I will opt out of buying a book that I’d like to read because I don’t like the cover. I’ve been wanting to read The Great Gatsby since high school and I still haven’t gotten around to it because I don’t like the cover of the book. Sure, I could check it out at the library… but I like owning books and I like being the first person to open, smell, and then read that book. (Yes, smell. Don’t judge me, they smell good!) The story feels more like it’s mine if I’m reading it from my book. Also if it’s in first person. I’m convinced two of the most popular young adult series (Twilight and The Hunger Games) are so popular because they’re written in first person and, as a result, the reader feels like the whole story is either a) happening to them, or b) happening to a very close friend. Okay, that’s two tangents, I should get back on track.

So, I’m book shopping today. I’m looking for a book for a friend and considering getting my own book. (I’m also obsessed with buying books. I haven’t read half of the books I own because I like to buy to “read them later” and then end up buying more books. And, although I prefer reading “my own books” I still read quite a few borrowed books.) How was I doing my shopping you may be asking yourself?  I was shopping by what the cover of the book looked like. I didn’t even find a book for my friend because once I found one with an aesthetically pleasing cover, I wasn’t interested in what the synopsis had to say - and I didn’t think she’d be either. That’s pitiful! I spent a good half hour browsing through books and didn’t find ONE that I wanted to buy. Not even for myself, but for someone else! 

After giving up on finding a book for my friend, I start searching frantically for the Classics section. (This is my favorite section at book stores.) I was considering getting Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck because I’ve never read it and have been meaning to read it for a long time, as I’m a fan of Steinbeck (I loved East Of Eden). I find it and, lo and behold, if I’m not satisfied with the way the cover looks. It’s nothing compared to that of The Great Gatsby but I still prefer my books to have covers I like. Especially classics! The cover should look classic, not ugly! Anyway, I decided not to get it (mainly because of the cover, partly because it is a terribly thin book and they wanted $10 for it) and began looking for something else. It occurred to me that I’ve never read Emily Brontë’s Wuthering Heights so I began a new search. Wouldn’t you know that the cover of this one was the worst one I have ever seen? Absolutely horrible. Luckily, they had another cover that I found satisfying.

All that to say, I’m sure I’m cheating myself of some really good reads because of my judgement and I would like some way to overcome this. It’s turning into a real problem; I’m reading a book right now that I don’t like because I liked the cover and I can’t stop reading a book once I’ve started. I don’t know how to kick this state of mind.

Normal conversation.

• Me: Sup nigga?
• Ho: A whole lot! So much has happened between now and when we got off the phone!
• Me: I figured that may be the case! It's been at least 1 minute!
• It's us; stuff happens.
• Ho: YOU'RE RIGHT! It sounds like someone just had a seizure and fell onto the floor above my head!
• Me: Oh man! So much really has happened?
• Ho: I didn't hear the seizure part, I just assume as much because that's how epilepsy works.
• Me: All that happened here is a dog started barking and I thought it was my stomach.
• Ho: Um.... you thought your stomach was making a dog barking noise?
• Me: Well... it wakes me up sometimes so I thought, "Here we go..." But it was just a dog. You know how sometimes you can't tell if it's your stomach or someone else's? Or in this case, my stomach or a dog?
• Ho: Hahahaha! I can usually tell if it's my stomach. I do have those times though where my stomach will make some crazy loud noise but I won't feel a thing, and then I freak out about it.
• Me: That usually happens to me when I'm with someone else and I'm all, "Was that you or me??"

• Susie: Do you have something picked out for Easter yet?
• Me: I have a few things to choose from, but haven't thought much about it yet.
• Mammy: Aren't you going to wear the new skirt I got you?
• Me: I don't know if I'm going to keep it. It was $50 and I don't believe in buying anything that expensive.
• Susie: Jesus enjoyed some very expensive oils.
• Me: He didn't have to pay for them.
• Mammy: Yes He did... with His life.

BASEBALL

… is about to start. I’m excited. :)

• Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives… Because he never met you.
• The Word says ‘Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry’… How about dinner?
• I went on a mission trip but all I ended up doing was mission you.
• Is this the transfiguration… because you are glowing.
• How many times do I have to walk around you to make you fall for me?
• I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.
• I would part the Red Sea for you.
• What’re you doing for the rest of your afterlife?
• I don’t know if you noticed but, when you walked into the room, that was me giving up a clap offering. 
• You put the cute in persecuted.
• YOU: “Is this seat saved?” THEM: “No.” YOU: “Are you?”
• You put the ‘stud’ in Bible study! 
• Is it hot in here or is that just the Holy Spirit burning inside of you!? 
• I just want you to know, I’m praying for you… No, I’m praying “FOR” you.
• If you were a Bible verse, I would memorize you. 
• The other day I was reading the book of Numbers and I realized … I don’t have yours. 

Ah, I love pick-up lines…